


May Death Never Stop You

by petit_moineau



Series: He's Not There [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Grayson (Comics), Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: 5 Times, Background Relationships, Daddy Issues, Gen, Jealousy, Voicemail, but if you have hardcore issues with the mere mention of them...you're forewarned, like literally so background they're not there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-21 22:03:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7406818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petit_moineau/pseuds/petit_moineau
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jason's not sentimental enough to leave voicemails for a dead guy, except when he is.  Four times Jason leaves Dick a voicemail and one time he doesn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	May Death Never Stop You

**Author's Note:**

> Now part of a series of the Batfam leaving Dick voicemails! I deeply apologize for the probably questionable quality of this...writing Jason is _hard_ , and this is definitely the product of Hemingway's "write drunk edit sober" advice without much editing.
> 
> Recommended listening: this one is so easy, the titles are all 90s song titles.

**i.  hey jealousy**

“Dude.  I can’t even believe it.  I think we all know that if someone in this family was going to die that it would be me.  You know, again.  Is it wrong that I’m a little proud that it’s not me?  I mean, we all know death is not eternal, at least not always.  But, uh…if you’re dead for _real,_ I cannot in good faith recommend the old Lazarus pit.  In addition to the obvious—your first waking moments and a good few days after that you feel like you’ve been dunked in boiling acid—it, uh.  It takes whatever darkness you have and feeds it.  And I don’t know, it’s been like, six years, but I’m still fighting that darkness every damn day.  Oh, who am I kidding?  You’d be fine.  You wouldn’t know inner darkness if it smacked you on the head.”

**ii.  teenage dirtbag**

“I fucked one of your ex-girlfriends and fell in love with the other one.  You get to figure out which one is which, but goddamn it, if you’re still out here, please get your ass home.  I know my entire life has been scraping up your leftovers, but this is a new low, even for me.  I’d like to say I have too much pride to go there, apparently I don’t.  So come do that heroic big brother thing you always wanted to do and save me from myself, or something.”

**iii.  my own worst enemy**

“I mean, I know you became your own man and everything, but how were you able to look past everything that makes Bruce so…Bruce?  I don’t know who’s worse: him, for being so moralistic and irritating, or me, for wanting him to…to… _like_ me.  No, actually, fuck that.  It should have been so much easier for you, because he was always happy with you exactly the way you were.  But me?  Nah.  I was a failure from the start for not being you.  Even _Barbara_ pointed out I wasn’t you the very first time I met her.  Fuck, I really hated you sometimes, you know that?”

**iv.  crack a bottle**

“No, do _not_ take my fucking drink away, I’m not done with it yet.  Christ, what do you care, I paid you, didn’t I?  Can’t you see I’m on the phone?  Sorry about that.  Decent, hardworking men of this city can’t even get blitzed in a cut-rate bar without people trying to _babysit_ them.  You, Ghost of Dick Grayson, are a lucky man, because I, being drunk as hell, am going to tell you that I never hated you.  Not even a little.  Man, I respected the shit out of you.  I wanted to _be_ you—not because that’s what Daddy Warbucks wanted, but because I wanted to be that good, that controlled, that, _heh_ , popular with girls.  I’m going to have to remember to erase this.  Man, I’m no good at this, you knew that.  But everything’s so _different_ without you.  You’d be delighted to know that some things do, in fact, revolve around you.  This family, for one.  We were only a family because of you.  Now?  I don’t know _what_ we are.”

**v.  laughing out loud**

“JAY.  BIRD.”

“Oh my god, you don’t need to shout, cell service is pretty good nowadays.”

“Yeah, it’s so good I got it in the afterlife and I heard all your voicemails.”

“I’m going to kill you.”

“Is that a nice thing to say to your recently resurrected, dearly beloved big brother?”

“I’m serious.”

“Liar, I can hear you smiling through the phone.”

“Ugh, what do you want?”

“I just wanted to tell you I’m coming back to town for good.  And…to say thanks.”

“For?”

“Man, you _know_ what for.  I wouldn’t be coming home at _all,_ except in a for-real body bag, if not for you.”

“Aw, shucks.  As you know, taking down an intergalactic spy organization that was being spied on by the organization it was spying on was _totally_ my idea.”

“Jay, I’m serious.  Thank you.  You were amazing.”

“Eh, I’m no Dick Grayson.  And if you say something sappy, like ‘no, you’re Jason Todd, and that’s even better,’ I’m hanging up, I swear to god.”

“Uh, I think we all know there’s no topping Dick Grayson.  Oh my god, stop laughing, that was not a sex joke.  You know what, Jason?  I was going to invite you to my Robins-only movie night, but I’m not going to now.”

“How will I ever go on?”

“Is this a subtle way of telling me you’ll come if we watch Titanic?”

“Hell no.  I will absolutely not come if you show Titanic.  Damian does not need to see Titanic.”

“You _do_ care about him!”

“Hmph.”

“I have to get on a plane, but seriously—thank you, Jay.  You should be damn proud of yourself.”

“Oh my god, you’re welcome, stop making me _feel,_ it’s gross.”


End file.
